"The Window"

I can see the sun.
It’s so bright that it puts me in a daze.  
I can’t think clearly anymore.
But I’ll get better.

It’s hard to see people outside
from my room.
Sometimes I imagine seeing a boy and a girl,
walking together in love.
But from up here,
It’s impossible to distinguish anyone.

Someone is knocking on my door.
It’s the friendly lady from down the hall.
I don’t get out much,
so each one of her visits is special.
Everyday she brings me a
healthy meal with pills on the side.
I assume they’re for my health, since I’ve been sick lately.
How nice.

But she’s leaving now.
I admire how neat she looks,
with her clean white dress and matching hat.

I look outside again.
Only a few people.
Wait.
Is that Mark?
No, I wouldn’t be able to tell anyway,
and Mark could never visit me.
I’m hallucinating.

I shouldn’t even think about Mark. I have to forget.
But I feel ashamed. Guilty. Betrayed.
Thankfully my family is fixing what Mark has done to me.

The priest is here.
I take out my copy of the Bible that I read everyday from the drawer,
one of the few pieces of furniture I have.
“How are you doing, Timothy?” he asks.
Fine. It’s a lovely day outside.
He looks out the only window in my room and then opens it.
He agrees.

We begin our Bible reading.
He stops often to make comments.
“People commit shameful acts. You and I both.
Sometimes we miss God’s intentions,
but in different ways.”
I love God and want to please Him,
but I feel trapped.
I look to the window.

Mark.

The priest quotes the Bible:
“But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female.”
It is hard to listen.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife…”
My thoughts are unraveling into confusing tangles.

“We know that the law is made not for the righteous
but for the lawbreakers and rebels…”
I can’t breathe. I need to get out.
The window.

“The ungodly and sinful…”
I am running. I hate this room.
I can’t fucking take it anymore.
“the unholy and irreligious…”
Almost there... I’m free!

“...for the sexually immoral, for those practicing
homosexuality.”