why do i continue to write?

Location

Well,
I filled out my college applications (years ago)
i know i stand out, despite the bad influences and poor choices that almost destroyd me
I aced my classes
I wore glasses like gilbert from revenge of the nerds-you know the gazelles
I studied when i needed to
I took care of business
I retained all of this useless information in my head that have no relevance to my life
neve did Community Service, never part of National Honor Society,
I dealt with morality and responsibility after years of trials and tribulations
I wasn't running for president in my school , i was busy running from cops for hopping turnstiles
I might've attended a show or two.
I performed alright, should've got an academy award for best asshole in the school
I did what I was supposed to do. 
1000 i score in my SAT
i did ok, i wasn't at my best
 
So why write?
 
Well,
My high school resume was not that immpeccable,
pretty much a blank other than my name, address, and contact number
that's not true, my senior year,  i worked as a tutor for an afterschool program
for what i ask?
For college, yeah i suppose
it's true, but with my grades, i don't know
two year schools rejected me like a bad date
plans didn't go through like i hope
I wanted the city.
I wanted to taste college
and in my heart I knew
i belong, all i wanted was a chance
 
So why am i still writing
 
Well,
I'm writing this for opportunity
I'm writing to pave the way for my latin/black brothers and sisters to continue rewriting history
all schools turned me down
except for one, even at that they said no
but, they offered a summer program
in which my goal was to pass math, writing, and english with a 3.0 or higher
my only one way ticket to go to college
that school is st.john's university
one of the most prestigious schools in the country
i convince myself that my dreams aren't dead.
There's no moolah or nickels or dimes,
i have to make it count
 
I'm writing for life
the root of all evil.
I'm writing for myself
so broke and so peaceful.
I'm writing for me,
the boy that's now becoming a man
and i was on probation at that time
alot was riding for me
 
Why else am I writing?
it's no sob story,
a somber retelling my high school's glory.
Why the dissappoinment?
Why the false hope?
Why do culture and government,
dangle a rope?
They tease us and instill in our heads,
that the reason any kid gets out of bed,
is to make the big leap,
to garner the knowledge,
to gain the new tools that you'll need for college.
But I know for a fact,
education has taken a step back,
not because of knowledge itself, but my failures to continuously cultivate
college is an institute that dances and showers,
high expectations, and horrid frustrations,
to grief stricken kids across this "great" nation.
 
So what did i change?
my outlook of life
that same summer, i found out that i was accepted to st. john's univerisity which i started in the fall of the same year
I change my vision,
I influence many, but this time, in the right direction
I would never tell kids to fail,
I would never kids to dropout
their image of studying at a college or university
it's ambigutously interpreted in many ways
because it doesn't matter what you do,
the government don't care for me and you.
 
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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