This is Who You Are to Me and You Don't Understand how Much You Mean to Me
You are comfort
You are hope
You are a light behind a
sea of air that I once
thought was a wall of
despair
You are pure
You are true
Your mere presence calms me
Yet my breath catches when I
see you and all thoughts
vanish from my head and
when
You hold me I want to stay
here forever and never let
You go.
Comments
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It is a decent start. Very relatable; I'm sure most readers
of this would have felt this at some point.
Some of the descriptions here are hard to picture.
Like, what the "pure" mean? What does "true" mean? And I'm not talking
about the general definitions of these words, I'm talking about what has
made you use these words? What descriptions/imagery can you give me based
on these words? Show me these words; don't tell me these words, you know?
As for structure, don't captalize every beginning line (modern poetry tends to shy away
from this, and start using proper puncutation (unless it's written like a "stream of
consciousness").
Keep writing!!!
:)