Who I was is not who I am now, I remember starting my senior year in high school ready to get out of that circus show. They use to call me him use to call me someone I am no longer, I buried him among my insides to make everyone happy. Who I am is someone I never thought I'd be. I left the only home i knew or merely i got kicked out of prison from the guards because I was not the child they could manipulate anymore. The months passed by faster than I thought and my parents started to slip away from my grip i held onto my hate for them. Who I was is not who I am now, i hold so much hatred in my heart due to things that are no longer fixable.  I never knew what a year could change in someone but now i am living with the man i love and scraping from paycheck to paycheck like a beggar waiting for their next fix whether it be food or a few pennies. I wish i could better our situation be the miracle that magically takes away the struggle but for now i am just burying us deeper in debt. Who I was, was this awkward depressed teen waiting who escaped into my slam poetry team like it was a drug and doing it every day wasn't enough and now i have lost the talent to write a decent slam poem no matter how hard  i try. The words don't come as smoothly and the analogies are getting harder to find, I wish i was still the person who got up in front of people proudly presenting a piece of me that i was able to get out on paper instead of leaving it in my head to rot my brain away. Who i was use to be so against smoking cigarettes but now my day cant continue without a few cigarettes to keep the anxiety at bay until the next cigarette. I've become an addict i traded in razor blades for cigarettes and i don't think my family would be too proud to meet the new me so i make sure to keep them at a distance, don't look them in the eyes don't let them see the me I've become. Who i am would not be proud of the decisions I've made but she'd be proud that I never gave into the voices, that i have still managed to stay strong. Who i am is not who i was and i can never be that person again but i will be the better me i can be.