Who am I (really)?

I am the girl with the bright smile 

(I am the one who fakes a smile)

and beautiful brown eyes

( who's eyes can no longer hold life)

With the good sense of humor

( who can only make others smile) 

and a good head on her shoulders

( who see life as it is)

who's very healthy

( and takes antidepressants)

and loved by many 

(who loathes herself)

who enjoys long showers and loud music

( who muffles her screams over water and music)

who treats her body with care

( while hiding her scars of self-harm)

who's exited about the future

( who's waiting for death)

I am Kendell

( I am Kendell)

I am the filter

( I am the real)

Who do you prefer?