It had been just another day.

Another essay assigned,

another thirty minute lunch,

another walk home

alone.

 

I looked forward to the time at home

when I would be alone

without my brother

without my sister

without  a worry.

I unlocked the door and took my headphones out

and the first thing I hear

is the breathing.

 

It's laboured

and near hyperventilation.

My heart sped up

and I'm sure my pupils dialated.

I dropped my bag

and walked slowly down the hall

that had never before

seemed

so

long.

 

It's coming from my bathroom.

I take a shaky breath of my own

and the sound matches the rasp coming from

behind the door.

My hand grasps the handle

and I swing the door open

and

 

ev

ery

thi

ng

stopped.

 

I don't even think I had time to cry out

as I saw my brother lying on the floor.

The floor I couldn't see

because it was covered

in blood.

The world became the slits

on his wrists

and the world became the droop

of his eyes

as the life bled out of him

like watery paint

and pain.

 

I think I screamed his name

and begged him not to go

and ran down the hall

that had gotten

even

longer

and I called nine one one

and the next three minutes

were the hardest

I ever lived.

 

I almost lost my brother that day.

So when I hear

someone I love

or someone I don't

contemplate what he did

I relive that day over again

and wish that I could make them understand

how precious every drop of that life is

and make them see

how much they mean to someone like

me.