What Is My Fate?

I'm lost.

Time passes in a blur

Things unheard, unspoken words

How do I feel?

Broken, with no reason

My feelings change like every season.

All I do know is this

Everything hurts. Sweet bliss, missed.

Physcial and emotional pain,

But I paint on a smile to store it away.

No one knows what's underneath that layer

I keep it hidden.

I forbid it

To be revealed to others

They have their own lives to worry

I won't be a burden on anyone's shoulder but mine.

Why do I worry about others so?

I want to be wanted

Love to be loved

But I'm still here, alone

Doing what I feel I must

Why do others have what I want?

Why not me?

Why can't I "taste and see"

What Almighty God has in store for me?

I begin to doubt

Why am I this way?