a list of all the things i`ve learned 

since the sun came up and i could see the ceiling.

my whole life i lived in darkness thinking it was light,

like that old philosopher with his cave, right was wrong and wrong was right.

thinking i was the only one,

i struggled through the dark deep night.

what i was taught was emptiness,

empty praise and excuses.

to the god above without a gender

who we always called father.

all the saints and doctors- men.

and the women- virgins, mothers, or nuns-

but you had to research to find them.

the religion that my parents practiced,

the church where i grew up,

only men could be the priests

only men could receive the sacrament.

women`s place was in the home

to feed the husband, to bear the children, to raise the children.

to be faithful, to be holy, to be pure and spotless.

i was told that i needed to save myself for my husband

that my body was a gift only intended for him

intercourse is intended for the bonds of marriage, to produce children.

my body is not my own.

rather, shall i refer to it as his body?

save myself to be branded by his hands, by the noose of his tie.

and speaking of branding, what happens to me,

a spirit living in this body,

when it is branded by another?

what happens to me now that ive been used by another, however i protested

am i merely a piece of property

a deed to a land to be transferred from hand to hand

i have never even had my own last name

the women who came before me have never had their own last name

all of this i didnt know and more.

i didnt know i was assaulted until 7 months after it happened

i didnt know there was a woman named Ruth Bader Ginsberg until 2 months ago

i didnt know that women got the right to vote in 1920

i didnt know anything about the womens movement or feminists

except for that they were evil, sinful women who murdered babies.

i didnt know there was any such thing as the equal rights amendment

i didnt know that it hasnt been ratified yet.

i didnt know how my own body worked.

i didnt know that women are still paid less than men.

all of these things.

i couldnt see the glass ceiling because i was kept in the dark.

and now, the day has dawned

now i can see

now, i have begun to learn all these things

now, i will change the world.