1 was fifteen

(and so was I)

when he said he loved me.

(My first kiss!)

My first love.

(I worked so hard)

1 wanted more than I wanted to give.

(I almost gave in)

One year and three months

(I texted him it was over)

1 was angry.

(I told myself it was God's Will)

I cried.

 

2 was my best friend

(We did everything together)

People said they saw us getting married one day

(I noticed myself hoping too)

2's family loved me

(I loved them too)

2 kissed me on my face

(Which led to more)

Months went by

(He looked at me like the stars)

His love was in his eyes and on his lips.

(Not enough. 2 dumped me on Valentine's Day)

I cried.

 

3 is 1

(and 1 is 3)

He gave me a second chance,

(Picked up where 2 left off)

And held me when my grandmother died.

(The first time I experienced death)

I had never stopped loving 3.

(But the words never crossed my lips)

We snuck around

(There's a thrill in that)

3 slept beside me.

(He found a new girl.)

I cried.

 

4 was new.

(I hardly knew him.)

We stayed up until four am

(I was so happy to talk to him)

I wanted to impress him.

(We finally hung out)

I was nervous

(Too loud)

His laugh was welcoming.

(I said I was a virgin and wanted to stay that way)

4 said that will be a problem down the road

(Why is sex so important?)

I cried.

 

5 was there

(Through all the boys)

He loved me like I wanted to be loved.

(Watching movies)

Taking walks.

(5 never went after other girls)

But his love for me was not returned.

(I was scared.)

He tried for months.

(Tears down his face)

His love was beautiful.

(A gun in his mouth)

I am crying.

 

4 ways

(I wish I could change how I was loved)

1 way

(I wish I could change)

How I loved.