Waves
starting out
i knew the potential the year could have
i felt like a captain on a wooden ship
hands on the wheel, eyes staring straight ahead
prepared to steer the frigate of my life on smooth waters
but the waves came.
winter.
i expected success and dreaded any less
i felt a wave of failure bearing down
hands on the wheel as it started to shake
not knowing if my flaws would tear the ship apart.
the waves kept coming.
spring.
i saw the pirate ship of comparison come alongside to steal my soul
i felt like a less-than as i watched them live my dream
hands on the wheel as it was almost wrenched from me
feeling covetous and wishing i was them.
the waves kept coming.
summer.
i stared at myself in the mirror wishing i could change
i felt as if the wave of society bore down on my self-confidence
hands on the wheel as i grappled with if i was strong enough to hold it
wondering if i could ever fit my clothes or have his shape.
the waves kept coming.
fall.
i saw my dream standing just outside my arm's reach
i felt the biggest wave of all crash down on me
hands on the wheel as love melted my resolve and rehardened me
freezing on the inside and wondering if my heart could heal.
waves came, and waves passed. the waves will keep coming.
at the end of the year
i saw the growth twelve months caused in me
my ship creaked into harbor, still intact
battered by the waves of life, but remaining strong.
why?
hope.
hope is what keeps me going despite my failures.
hope is what reminds me i don't have to be like them.
hope is what tells me i'm perfect just the way i am.
hope is what makes my heart keep beating.
hope is what holds my ship together.
hope is what puts the wind in my sails.
hope is found in the waves.