wasn’t expecting that
maybe it feels like
looking down at the rope that holds you
and realizing it's only made of thread.
if she loved me,
why would she choose this?
past tense already.
and maybe she was only ever meant to be a lesson
that i can be loved and cherished
(more than i ever used to be)
still.
that "yes" felt like a dividing crack.
and every "it's in the other state"
felt more like a "why are you in the way?"
i just keep thinking that i would never do that to her. would never want that for us.
and knowing exactly how it's going to turn out
but having to wait for slow pain to begin, then grow into a roar
too loud to be ignored
is the most painful part of all.