Vote Salamander!


By Bruce Buschel

Originality is not common in human nature

Not every group has unique nomenclature

There are troops of mongoose and baboons

Troops of dolphins, gorillas and raccoons


Colonies of cormorants, colonies of mice

Colonies of termites and beavers and lice

But only two groups convene in a congress

One’s power is zero, the other’s humongous


The first congress is populated by salamander

A group that always hated the gerrymander

This species is comprised of slimy amphibian

Who would never blow the world into oblivion


The second congress highlights human beings

Who tend to spend days and nights disagreeing

This gang is deemed a federal legislative body

And will be filled to the gills with silly tomnoddy


Congress A is deliberate and rarely reckless

Congress B is undisciplined and fairly feckless

Both groups emit poison when there’s a threat

One group nitpicks everything save the debt


The first congress is in the family of frogs

The second one leaps into long monologues

One group is over seventy percent Caucasian

Both species dine on digestible crustacean


The reptilian congress is fertile and unisexual

The civilian one is bi-cameral and ineffectual

Salamanders flick small tails to stun a predator

Politicians tick off tall tales to run for Senator


Both parties have soft bodies and very thin skin

Just one group will abandon their kith and kin

Both have sticky fingers and sticky tongues

But one has an uber-cockeyed weltanschauung


Both congresses love to frolic in their swamp

But one hides behind circumstance and pomp

The lizards would never destroy the ecology

The wizards traffic in unalloyed mythology


One group is not equipped to sing the blues

The other goes off-script to croon “Fake News”

Salamanders can regenerate any lost limbs

Politicians articulate prayers and hymns


One congress creeps while ethically upright

The other stands tall yet can reach no height

Both groups act normal and appear quotidian

One of them will lie on the good book by Gideon


When election day comes this “pro-gun” year

Pay no attention to the big-ticket sloganeer

You can take delight in your right to write-in

Candidates for congress who let the light in


Vote Salamander!

This poem is about: 
My country


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