Virginity
My best friend told me she lost her virginity.
“holy shit”
How else do I respond?
“good for you”
She told me she wasn’t even going to tell me in the first place.
I don’t know this girl,
this stranger.
Who?
I tell her I won’t judge her.
I don’t want to,
but I can’t help it.
I can’t talk to her,
and I hate myself.
“Best friend”
Who even am I?
Who even is she?
My best friend told me she lost her virginity.
I want to cry,
I want to yell,
I want to kick,
I want to scream.
Why do I not know her?
Why can’t I tell her how I feel?
I can’t judge her
but I’m lost.
I want to tell her that I don’t know her,
That she isn’t my best friend,
That she isn’t the person I met when I was 3.
I want to tell her that I thought she was different.
Am I a bad friend?
My best friend told me she lost her virginity.
I don’t know.
She’s the same person
but she isn’t.
I can’t tell her anything,
I want to tell her everything,
but no.
“holy shit”
That’s all.
How else do I respond?