violent_tendancies.txt
Don’t touch me
There’s a storm in these veins, and sometimes it erupts
Shows itself between the cracks, where the metal starts to rust and I
Have it on a leash.
Don’t touch me
Because I will hold the rope slack
And it will leap out, though in which direction I don’t know,
Because sometimes it hits you,
And sometimes it hits me.
It’s not the sort of thing I’d like to live with
But I need it to live.
(It’s not as sadistic as it sounds)
—Listen, when they treat you like dirt on the playground,
You say when you grow up you’ll be more
Then you grow up and into curves and you have to form edges
Because all you’ve become is meat on the street, a bow in your hair, pink in their cheeks
And nothing has changed.
It’s Just Another Playground For Another Day
but theres no teachers looking out for when they tear into your skin, no bell to save you
theres only you and whatever teeth you choose to bare
so forgive me if i bear these god-given teeth
Don’t touch me
I don’t focus on softness
I focus on survival
And I will never let a threat approach
(and if that means pushing back all the good things with it, so be it,
at least I am safe)
Don’t touch me
It makes my skin crawl,
To show kindness where I clearly deserve none
Don’t you know what I am and
Don’t you care?
You’ll have to wash your hands after
And I’ll drench my body in bleach
Until I can’t even remember your name
I imagine myself the protector, though I know I am not
( Let me dream of a better future
Where these toxic words
Are no longer a black mark
Let me fight for those who cannot )
Don’t touch me
Because I’m not going to change
And if that’s why you draw me near, give up now
I won’t change for you,
I won’t change for anyone.
This is my heartbeat,
(rattled and loud and vicious as it is)
When the angry red light is gone, the darkness takes its place
And I can’t even get out of bed
If that’s what you want for me,
Do not touch me.
This is not who I am.
But it is what is meant for me.
Why would they bless me with such a sharp motivator,
If I wasn’t meant to use it?