To the professors and teachers of my past,

Especially to those who taught the classes I passed,

There are some things you preached to me,

Some I have found true and others I disagree.

You told me I had to know the distance to the sun,

Pie to nine digits and said math was fun.

You made me write in cursive and use long division,

And know where on a dead pig to make an incision.

I’ll never forget learning the elements on the Periodic Table,

Or more precisely, how I was unable.

You made sure I knew the beginning of the U.S. Constitution,

And every aspect of the American Revolution.

I was taught the names and types of extinct dinosaurs,

And the story of Zeus and all of his whores.

I’m not trying to make school out to be a big scandal,

I’m just saying’ it’s not anything Google can’t handle.

But thank you for all the useless knowledge,

Because that is what got me into college.