Untouchably Free

“…I mean, I’m right. Right?”

 

Stop.

The train has stilled, my mind has froze

and in that moment the world screeches to a halt

That halt

That frightening, anxiety-ridden, fearful halt

The one that makes brown eyes go wide;

catches words in a strained voice-box

and the breath that circulated through healthy lungs can no longer find its way

 

Fear

Fear of furrowed eyebrows and pouting lips

that slight squint of the eyes in a momentary glare

What did I do?

“…What does she know? She’s not going through this…”

“…How could she not agree…”

 

Then why do you ASK?

 

Beneath this skull is a brain filled with colorful idea and thoughts

My thoughts and ideas

My hopes, my wishes, my experiences, my perceptions

AND my own fears

Fears of what tomorrow will bring, fears of my future

Where will I be?

What will I do?

Who will I become?

I got my own qualms to worry about

so why should I worry about the judgment going on in your head?

Are you expecting to see a mirror when we’re face-to-face?
 

Because I’m not you

 

I am me.

 

The biologist

The inspiring veterinarian

The tom-boy

The occasional gamer

I am the girl with the confidence to rival the greatest leaders,

the intellect of the most charismatic minds known to man,

and the passion that whelms in the clustered individuality we call humanity.

I am the truth you ask for when you speak

But, I guess you’re the ignorance only hoping for bliss

 

So I wait.

I wait for those I know can agree to disagree,

who hear my words of intellect and personal knowledge

and give a nod as to say ‘valid’

Without thinking it’s about ‘them’

That cosmic, apathetic connection of two minds

that for centuries, millennia, eons seems to evade lifetimes…

 

Understanding.

 

For that, my curtain remains closed.

behind them a personal muse to me, myself and I

with a thoughtful face and observant eyes

that others would call a ‘quiet’ demeanor

But my mind conquers all

My third eye seeing what has been given to me

The intuition born to me

that tells me right from wrong

that lets me think my own opinion, in my own voice

without being pushed by others

And while I hold my tongue with a baited breath

my thoughts are mine and mine alone;

untouchably free

 

“Of course.”

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