i find english

to be a painfully unspecific language

 

for example, 

i can't say i love you

because that doesn't say everything

i need a way to say that i adore your smile and your grimace

and the way your hair sticks up in a way that refuses to be smoothed down

and i love the way your face crinkles up when you laugh

 

i think you're beautiful

but i wish that the word communicated more than just your figure

i wish it went past your hair that makes you look gorgeous when styled in any manner

because you are so very attractive

i wish it went beyond your entrancing eyes that i could stare into all day

with their fascinating hues that very with the time of day

 

i wish beautiful could explain

how you make me feel 

how my heart leaps when i see you

how your love for others is hidden under your rough exterior

but the soft and the rough are equally fascinating

 

and i wish

that i could tell you how i feel

 

but it's so very difficult

to put that all in a sentence that you can hear

not only because english is such an unspecific language

but also it get stuck in my mouth

the words come out in tumbles and knots

that rarely convey what i mean

that convey the love and the whirlwind of thoughts that run through around and out of my mind

 all about you

you with your lovely lovely self

 

i sigh

 

stupid 

unspecific language