There's been the bad,

I used to crack a smile, while I cut myself

-Clinically- insane

 

And there's been the good,

I’ve seen the sun come blazing down from a bright Virginia sky

And I’ve looked with awe, and wonder standing in Oregon's North Pacific shore

 A place with people so friendly, it even shakes your inner core     

Amidst the bad, and the good

I’ve prayed endlessly beneath God’s wide, wide sky

 

Even though, sometimes.... I don’t know why.

 

I don't know why because

You see, ‘cause I haven’t heard the laughter from children, on the Coney Island Boardwalk

I haven’t been on Lisa Frank Avenue, watching the light down-pour of Arizona rain

I haven’t seen a sunset at Niagara Falls

And in a rainforest in China, I haven’t heard an, endangered, Hainan Gibbon’s call

 

I haven’t seen a cold fog come drifting in over San Francisco Bay

So I just settle for watching the Indiana clouds, as I waste away

Thinking of my struggles to be free

And of all the things that I want to be

 

And if they all want me to, I’ll die alone inside of my room

But first, this they must know

 

That when I wake up in the morning, my nightmares are surreal

That I’ve seen him for myself, the Boogeyman is REAL

With yellow eyes, and gnarled hands with long, razor-sharp claws

So traumatizing, you won’t even have a chance to process, or pause

 

So, what I’m trying to tell you people, is that I’m already in hell

But judge me not, because this can be -YOU- as well

 

Paid full in debt, the life I ‘chose’

...Maybe that’s just the way it goes

 

But if I could, I’d trade it all for heaven;

Its ordinary throne and halos longed for- by those of very which who are weak

 

….But maybe, an ordinary life would've cost me my confidence, at its peak

And if that’s the case…

An -UNORDINARY- life is what I seek!!!