360 joints in the human body

Approximately 642 muscles

They’re supposed to work together

Make you move in sync

With your mind

With your will

Do whatever you think

Ought to be done

A high five

A jump

A spin

A dance

But for me

It’s all just left to chance

It might work this time

I might do what I want

But most of the time

It’s pop pop pop

Out they go

When they’ll stop

No one knows

They push and tear

And pull and rip

The people stare

They all give tips

You’re not my doctor

I’m not your show

Even those with degrees

Never seem to know

They’ll poke and prod

They’ll test and test

They’ll curse my God

Leave me with this mess

There are no answers

There is no cause

Say goodbye to life

Take a two week pause

You scare us

You baffle us

You confuse

You concern

We don’t understand

This thing you've got

This isn’t something we’ve learned

Nothing’s ever been said

So it’s all in your head

Psychosomatic

Don’t be so dramatic

Get up walk around

There’s no illness we’ve found

So I’m the girl who walks slow on the stairs

I look like I’m fine

But I can’t carry my books

Can’t run

Can’t dance

Or jump

Or rearrange the furniture with you if you need help

Because if I tried my joints would dislocate

My muscles would shake

My body would break

I’m only eighteen

I swear it

It’s true

But my body likes to disagree with me

On the outside I’m a poor broken girl

It’s confusing to you because there is no cast

No scar

No rash

No big scary name

It’s scary to me because there is no cure

No knowledge

No studies

No, not even a name

Just the pain

Just the pain

Just the pain

To the world it may seem I’m a poor broken girl

Lies. Lies. Lies.

Why do you torment me so?

This body may be broken,

But the girl, she is whole!

She is filled and complete

With a beautiful life

This broken appearance

Of terrible strife

Is just a mere casing

For a brilliant joy

An overflow of grace

A marvelous creation

A source of peace in a place

Where so many are lost

So please let me explain

Yes I know there’s the pain

You don’t want me to feel

You want me to be safe

You want me to heal

But it will be around for my entire life

There will be days when I can’t walk

Can’t move my arms

Can’t get out of bed

But if pain is what I get

Every

Single

Day

No matter what I do

I’d rather take more

And laugh

And sing

And try my best to dance in the moments of relief

Than to suffer the grief

Of laying in bed in a little less pain

And watching life pass me by

Without an ounce of gain

I’d rather have a clear mind

And suffer and cry and be sore

Than intoxicate myself with

Muscle relaxers

Vicodin

Morphine

Gabapentin

And more

And feel my mind slip away

And my body go numb

I don't want to sit out 

I'm not afraid of the price I must pay

To get up and push through

And to live a true life

Because the consequences of living

Are a price I can't beat

When compared to the bedridden life

Reccomended to me