It’s static in my head,
a mess of conjoined thoughts and diluted dreams,
flowing in my veins, clawing through the cells of blood,
buried in my bones and disintegrating my flesh,
filling up my lungs with vileness, smoky, foggy smog that eats away,
choking its way up my throat, poisoning my esophagus and
chewing up my voice box
(so i cannot
speak).

It’s words finding its way out, boiling over my tongue, burnt like matches,
and spilling from soundless lips as if it was made
for such a journey
it swims across my fingers, tingling down the spine of my pen, down my fingertips hovering over black and white keys 

It’s thoughts and memories, dreams and mistakes,

embarrassing moments and joyful recounts, raw anger and dull sadness,
liquid and sunshine bottled up and bursting over
blank sheets and blank screens.

(i write
so i can breathe another.)

And all of my thoughts, 
all of the words i wish to say

(they) are drowned out by a cacophony of noise, of voices, 
of silences

(they) are washed away by the tidal waves of arguments, loud and angered, cold and deadly, 

but worse of all,
(they) are drifting, left unnoticed by the beach-goers, left 
untouched
and 
neglected, 
floating away, lost forever to the skies

And in my silence, 
i hope you understand, i hope you hear
the stream, the rush, the effervescent flow 
of 
all the words
i could have, would have, should have said, 
all the words 
i wish to say

and 
all the words
i wish you could hear.