Noise, silence, brightness, darkness, confusion all around

Grasping, searching, clinging, hoping, waiting to be found

The gray mess and matter all inside my head

Pushing, weighing me down hard like lead

 

Wanting to be heard through the mush that is my brain

Trying to find a way to straighten the mess in all my pain

Look at me and what do you see? A woman roughed up and used

You pass judgment and gossip, ignoring your addition to my abuse

 

All I hear is that I should stay locked deep in this dark cage

Where no one will see, no will be bothered or put off by silent rage

Looking down I see the rags of my faded childhood dreams

Of careers and knights, of houses and white, all ripped at each seam

 

Slowly, inside my head I churn and struggle forth and back

Should I scream? Should I run? Or will I be down – again – with a smack?

Looking beyond the jarring people I see a light far and dim

I focus, stare, and hope that will get me out of my cage so grim

 

Gathering my dreams in my arms I tuck them all in tight

Breathing, bracing, preparing my face and body for another fight

Crawling out of my cage I feel the mud along my cheek

Running down my hair and body I hold in my silent shrieks

 

Laughing, scoffing, kicking, jarring, I hear their voices all around

Telling me to be quiet, be still, to be the lost voice never found

With every sneer and every look I almost turn back to my bars

They may be dark and hard but at least there I hide my scars

 

Then carefully I look up around the mud clots thrown at me

And see the light still far but bright and my head starts to see

The voice inside me that has been chained in scared silence for so long

May, just may have strength again to be heard over the throng

 

To my knees I raise up, not caring about  the bruises on my skin

The bruises, the cuts, the scars they all are stories where I have been

Seeing the light brighter, closer I almost fall with a rock thrown at my head

Hurrying, scurrying, faltering, ignoring the screams now at my back

 

At last! Finally! It’s here! Now! The light covers me whole

I look back on all the faces now in shock as I’m at my goal

Feeling it start deep within and raises up to my tongue

The words flow out into the crowd as a song that has been unsung

 

“Look and see where I am and where you still sadly stand,

Holding the mud, the rocks the wood, idly in your hand.

Every bruise and every scar you gave I now can proudly wear

Because I stood up, because I spoke out and you are too scared to dare.

 

So come! Just try and lay me down to the muddy, sticky ground

Try to push me over with your words and fists, you’ll know then what I’ve found

My voice! I’ve found my voice and will to say ‘No!’ to all your demands.

To come from the sticky ground I now will stay and I will stand.”