Trying to take back words already spoken

Trying to heal a heart that was born broken

You cannot bury a guilt that’s still unpardoned

And I would know

I would know

 

Haunted by these apparitions

From whom i can’t beg forgiveness

Can my conscience ever be clear again?

When day and night and every moment

Drowns me deeper in my sin

Is there any way out than further In?

 

They say I’m going upward

but it feels so much like down

i’m falling on my feet to find

that There’s no safer ground

i’ve betrayed both sides

nothing gets any clearer

when you can’t find a light

i’ll try to walk two paths because

i can’t tell which is right

Gods above, hear me now

i need to be found

 

Trying to bring back lives already taken

You can’t forgive me

You don’t even know my name

but if you could

i don’t think you could

 

I killed a man

I killed a child

What kind of gods, these who’d

Reward me

and who’d require

Unexplained travesties

of what i feel i should believe

 

but can i trust my judgement?

it’s tainted by my heart

i keep it bound and beaten

but i’ve given him a part

so the fault rests with me

the sun won’t stray from heaven

the sea rolls back and forth

i’ll keep the path i’d chosen

turn my face from the north

for i’m the travesty

 

So this is my penance for loyalties wandered

to feel so much guilt for the wrong i did right

or is it the loss of a service so crippled

that nothing can make it arise

 

Would you weep? Tell me,

would you cry?

what would it mean to you

If you knew

that I had died

And that i’d wished i’d never tried to want so much

 

travesty

i’ve corrupted all that i could be

distorted both lives

so i’ll fade like a shadow

for that’s all i am

i need light i need dark

both can’t live in this land

so i’ll die for the faith

that has borne me this far

i’ll slip from the memory

of those i have scarred

and they won’t remember

the travesty that was me