Trapped
My thoughts are forced to be trapped
Trapped within my head because I am to afraid to let them show
Thoughts of my friend "I'm going to do it tonight"
More meaningful than anyone could imagine
She tells me why, how, and when
Most of all she tells me not to tell
My thoughts are trapped inside
Inside my thick head because I don't want to break a promise
I grab her hand and lead her to our old childhood thoughts
My insides tremble as we reminisce
Her phone rings, her mother wants her home
I say my final goodbye
My thoughts are trapped inside
I turn on my computer and a simple facebook message catches my eye
"I left my headphones at your house" I don't cry
She's alive, but I don't know how I feel, not good
I go to school, find myself lost in thought
I think I might cry, "better not"
My thoughts throw themselves against my already packed skull
She tells me the tale that is 'why not'
Says she wants to be done with the subject
Wants the topic to go away
Things don't go away
She tells me not to tell
My thoughts are no longer trapped
I tell a friend hoping they'll understand
Planned ruined a stranger is in the midst
I can't tell the whole story, and will never have another chance
I give an overview
I'm more saddened by the fact I told
My thoughts stay trapped
1. I had a secret
2. Never happened
3. Am I supposed to cry?
4. I'm told not to tell
5. I tell
6. Now I have two burdens
1. I still have parts of the story
2. Now i'm telling a lie
7. (insert everything else that has ever happened)
My thoughts are trapped
She tells me I can't break down
Why not?
Can't I have my turn now?
You already did, it's only fair
Oh I forgot
I don't turns
Don't get feelings
I just build up walls
Then you expect me to tear them down
How about you tear your walls down
I promise I won't notice
Even if I did
I would just seal another brick onto my wall
Plus i'm always okay