Trapped

Sat, 11/16/2013 - 19:34 -- demo

My thoughts are forced to be trapped

Trapped within my head because I am to afraid to let them show

Thoughts of my friend "I'm going to do it tonight"

More meaningful than anyone could imagine

She tells me why, how, and when

Most of all she tells me not to tell

My thoughts are trapped inside

Inside my thick head because I don't want to break a promise

I grab her hand and lead her to our old childhood thoughts

My insides tremble as we reminisce

Her phone rings, her mother wants her home

I say my final goodbye

My thoughts are trapped inside

I turn on my computer and a simple facebook message catches my eye

"I left my headphones at your house" I don't cry

She's alive, but I don't know how I feel, not good

I go to school, find myself lost in thought

I think I might cry, "better not"

My thoughts throw themselves against my already packed skull

She tells me the tale that is 'why not'

Says she wants to be done with the subject

Wants the topic to go away

Things don't go away

She tells me not to tell

My thoughts are no longer trapped

I tell a friend hoping they'll understand

Planned ruined a stranger is in the midst

I can't tell the whole story, and will never have another chance

I give an overview

I'm more saddened by the fact I  told

My thoughts stay trapped

1. I had a secret

2. Never  happened

3. Am I supposed to cry?

4. I'm told not to tell

5. I tell

6. Now I have two burdens

                          1. I still have parts of the story
                          2. Now i'm telling a lie

7. (insert everything else that has ever happened)

My thoughts are trapped

She tells me I can't break down

Why not?

Can't I have my turn now?

You already did, it's only fair

Oh I forgot

I don't turns

Don't get feelings

I just build up walls

Then you expect me to tear them down

How about you tear your walls down

I promise I won't notice

Even if I did

I would just seal another brick onto my wall

Plus i'm always okay

 

 

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