How can I move forward in my life
When it seems so many things hold me back
My god , my family, my love
Telling me this transition isn't needed
Or is it
A society which tells me I need this
Yet all those who have it seem unhappy
Broken and alone
Jobless
Loveless
Homeless
Chasing those glory days
Hoping that one day they will be able to get back
Back to who they were then
At a young age
When the biggest problems
Were movie titles and petty friendships
Friendships with people they havent spoke to
In years
Months
Weeks
Days
People who they held so close
They pushed all others away for them
Only to be left alone with out them in the end
Pitiful
A feeling of resentment behind them
As they make this transition to a new world
They promise to keep in contact
Yet the contact is left beyond its
Original owner
For we change every day
Into the people we dream to be
Or we resort back to the person
In our nightmares that we see

Lost images and ideas that were once so precious
Yet as we grow we forget them
We forget our chuoldhood friends and ambitions
And trade them in for jobs and broken dishes
Broken homes with loveless marriages
Who do we turn to when God lies to the masses
Or maybe not God
But his instruments of voice
The priests and pastors
Who tell you to pay tithe
So they can pay for their high
Smoking out the choir
And raping the usher boys
Raping their innocence and souls
Of anything pure and holy
For they are mere instruments of the devil
Who resides deep in their souls
Took the power they stole
And rerouted it to another hole
A deep darker hole in ther souls
That they cannot escape
For when they were young
Those same feelings were the ones who raped
These same people of all they had
Chosen ones by broken beliefs
Liars of a religion
Yet masters of the prisons
Telling us that sin is unforgiveable
Yet the still cannot let go
Of the fact they never had a childhood
Their father was an alcoholic
And their mother an irratic
Whom took every beating
Until she couldnt take it anymore
She grabbed her child and told him
Son you are my heart
Live on and try to forget this part
And she takes her own life
The child turns to God for salvation
But only finds lies and desecration
Drugs that heal the pain from the vacant
Spot in his soul that was left behind
Oh God, oh God he cries
How have I become the very thing
I swore to you i'd never get to see
But he cannot remember
He doesnt remember the transition
The scores he recieved
Reccomendations he praised
The people whom helped him raise
Himself into a man
A man of good word and measure
Yet the world destroyed his tethers
To that long gone young man
Who believed in the good of the world
And quickly lost it all in swirls
of maddness and chemically induced highs
He is the highest of highs
For his the pope of the drug religion
A man of so much power and anger
He breeds with his faith to create more
And they take over
Sucking the lives out of all those
They touch , and grow old
In the pursuit of stopping the cycle
The vicious and addictive cyle
Always chasing for that next high
Thats next fix
Knowing the end is calling
And the rehab will be a bitch
They beg and plead
Asking God why did you leave me
What is wrong with me
I crave the devil yet praise your name
I cry out to you and still cannot feel your pain
For you gave your only son
For my salvation
And all I gave you was temperorary elations
I refused you in front of all that mattered
And now my life is left in shatters
God please take this retched soul from me
For you are the only one who can set me free