Not everyone is perfect, okay,

Even if the think of themself that way,

And although teachers wish it weren't true,

They abide by the rules too,

So here is a list I'll give you to try,

Full of amazingly sly lies teachers will buy.

Lie number one would have to be,

"Mrs. Whatsit, I wnt home and had no key!

The door was locked and my windows have bars,

So I couldn't do anything but sleep in the car."

Lie number two is one of the best,

If you're a female, just say you're havin issues with your chest,

Say you have only one single, essential bra,

And you don't know for sure but you think you left it at the spa.

The intensity of lie three may make some faint,

But really, you only use red paint,

Just put some on the outside of your jeans,

Then tell them, "Help! I think they hit my spleen!"

Lie number four is a little extraordinary,

But if they're fantasy fans, they'll believe in a fairy.

Tell Mr. Joeshmoe that one flew right in

Your window and took all your pencils and pens.

Now the last lie, I'll proudly admit,

Is one tested by me, it made me quite content

To see the surprise on their face,

When I said, "My great-grandma's pregnant!"