I don’t know where I stand

I’m tired or lying to these people

I’m tired of opening up to them

I know they don’t believe me

I don’t have anyone to lean on

I’m alone with no one to talk to even if I do I don’t know how long will they be with me

If so will I be able to keep up with them

I've drifted once far away I’m afraid of getting close to anyone again

My mom is with me who I can’t express everything I feel because I’m afraid I might do the opposite

Something makes me feel I’m still hiding something from her

I wish I never lied and got myself in these tangled knots

When I look at my childhood picture which is hung on the wall of my room I miss those innocent eyes that I had once

Which were taken away from the monster of my dreams, who I thought once was my prince

The monster has taken away my dreams left me in the state that I can’t see my sparkle on my face

My father who had been hurt by his brother and who is still strong enough to provide my sisters love

My father who’s still hurt from the sharp bladed tongue that I have

Who has not healed yet perfectly to make me his princess back again

Who I dream of every night accepting me and holding me in his arms the way he would in my childhood

When I hear the stories of my friends with their father my miss the relation with my father

I want things to go back the way they were when I was small

I wish I had a time machine that would take me back to the time when I could dream of my prince

A time machine that would show me the life I have now.