Time to Grow Up by Jasmyn McCullers

I feel like I’m living life, day by day

Watching my every move, play by play.

Covered in cloth, so my skin doesn’t burn.

Watching what I eat so my stomach doesn’t churn.

Back when I was sixteen, I sure do wish

 The drastic change you just cannot miss.

There’s bruises everywhere.

I’m losing my hair

Aches and pains is all I feel

Is she faking? Who knows?

I want my old life back

I never know when it’s going to attack.

Why can’t I be like other 21 year olds?

Is this the story that will be told?

The story of the girl who got way too sick.

Or the story of the girl who’s life turned quick?

She wonders if there was anything she could change,

Wonders why all her efforts went in vein,

Wonders why her life got rearranged.

Was it something that I ate?

Unfortunately this isn’t something that I can break.

I can’t make this go away

No matter how much I pray

Three years has gone by

I’m just glad this something I can hide

It’s not something I’d take with pride

But I can’t just sit and watch my life go by

No matter how hard I try

No matter how hard I cry

It’s time I grow up

If I knew what I know now

I’d make my childhood last somehow

My body is fighting against itself

There’s no need to ask for help

Needles I’ve came accustomed to

Now I don’t feel as blue

I’m not a child anymore

Since I know this illness has no cure

All I can do is life as well as I can

Even though this wasn’t the plan

It’s just hurdle that I had to get over

I sometimes wish it could have waited until I got older.