I know all too well the weight of the world’s cold hands pushing down on my lungs,

The air I tried to breathe taken by force and without a wistful goodbye.

I forgot what it was like to feel until my nerves inflamed with emotion,

And my brain could not escape the thoughts coursing throughout its connections.

It was almost as if I had been put on ice and it took the desert to thaw out my limbs.

The disappointment I had been pushing aside came out to play,

And from there a heavy inadequacy took its sadistic fingers,

Gripping me tightly with no remorse.

To build myself up, I must first feel this distress.

I must first feel the pain of my wounds unsealing and time reversing.

I know it’s false,

But there has to be something I can believe in.

Whether it be that there’s someone who cares or a day that hell froze over.

Either one is equally believable.

The darkness has consumed so much of me that it is a friend to my skin,

Introduce it to the light.

To rid myself of this disease,

Hope is my heroin and agony is my chaser.

No one can do this but me.  

What a total waste of time my life has been,

Considering, learning experience, after learning experience.

When will I use what I know to do something other than staying up all night?

And thinking myself into a sour place in my mindset that

I continue to have the inability to escape?

Conversions into a static zone lost in a gray area.

Where the sun has no home,

And from there it loses its beauty that it has had

For so long,

In other people’s hearts.

Dank days lead into brightened nights.

I am no longer comfortable being awake at any point in time.