To Those Whom I Have Failed


To those whom I have failed

For the three minutes I have

To speak words left unsaid


Then draped like a vestige

From my latest nightmares

I request


Every assuming thought

Every collective anecdote

About me

Erase it

For the three minutes I have

I do not want to waste




I never crave charity

Or ever-need pity

I do not give charity

As motivation for a return


I come to the aid of others

Not out of pity

Never do I pity

With the most indulgent words I know


And my cherishables left to have

I would have been there anyways

If you would have given me that chance


The imponderable reason is

I aim to connect

In my weird antics

In strange ways


To a great extent

I always hope I do



I pale when there is always a person

That serves my romanticized purpose

That is everything I'm not


It is disheartening in its right

Because relationships--in all its teem of glory

Bounds a nymphal maiden with chains and an anchor

For each insufferable word feels like I am recovering a hurt I cast into a deep blue sea long ago


Suppose this is never new

Rapt emotions like despair are easy to come upon

Especially when magnifying faults

Expose its ugly form


All too often

A dilatory need of personable attention

The expressive want to be seen as independent

Leads to a misconception

I do despise


I am unfeeling



The solution…

A lost capability


Too often I forget to state

Behind a smiling face and a lazy tongue

 A throat too dry and dismissive words

I am a person too one ever knew


Considering a plastered persona clings to my side

Caked with foundation so never to be called two-faced

Or teased for the illusion I have complied



To be a perfect friend

To be a perfect lover

To be a perfect acquaintance

To be a perfect enemy

Whatever is needed of me…


Merely to disappoint


So forgotten here in darkness

Alone, in a brilliant grave

Buried with small riches as I slowly decay

Behind darkened lids

And a fitful brain


Set nicely against my last comfort

And the lessons in my life

Eluding me somehow

In a vacuum of a world I know I will not survive

Evaporating a fantasy like mine

As the answers await between my personal failures

and the success of my friends


To those whom I have failed

Even the boy I thought loved to the greatest of heights

Remember, this tragedy


And my atoning vale


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