She closes her eyes, takes in a deep breath.

She’s thinking of all the excuses she’ll have to make.

And all the reassuring comments.

 

“There’s just something in my eye.”

“Yes, I’m sure I’m okay.”

“No, I don’t need any help.”

“I knew this was coming.”

“I was, I am, prepared for this.”

 

She’s thinking of all the things she won’t say.

 

“I’m falling apart inside.”

“I’m completely in love with him even though I’m too young.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

 

She’s wondering what he’s thinking,

But doesn’t know well enough to guess.

 

She’s thinking about what everyone will say to her,

And of how she can respond.

 

“It’ll be okay.”

What if it isn’t?

“You’ll get over it.”

How can I? Please. Tell me.

“Time heals all wounds.”

Don’t feed me that bullshit.

“He’s not good enough for you anyway.”

I never deserved him to begin with.

 

She’s wondering when it will end:

People talking to her

The voices in her head

The longing glances she sends his way

The sheepish smile he sends back

The knowledge that it’s over

Wondering if he’s coming back

 

It’ll never end.

Not till she makes it.

 

She wonders if she’s strong enough-

To walk away and not look back.

She wonders if she’s strong enough-

To close her eyes and keep them shut.

 

She’s fairly sure she’s not.