Dealing with things is what everyone learns to do

How you deal with it is up to you

When I have to go against the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced

I run. Not away to the seeing eye but to where all voices are silenced

I escape from the stress that tears me up inside

But on the outside you wouldn’t know what I actually hide

I don’t know what I’m doing exactly but I do know life isn’t supposed to be this hard

It’s supposed to prepare me not cut me with every little glass shard

I help others before myself and always there because I want that for me

But when I am running I wish someone would know what to do and how to be

I then ease myself and put me back together and let the wind blow all stress away

I know I can fight his dad and to help me I pray

 

With the ink in my skin for the one I will forever fight

I know I’m a fighter and it’s my God given right

 

When you get butterflies and a tingling sensation all over you

From how someone makes you feel you don’t know what to do

The totally clichéd head over heels falling every teen does

It will change everything from what it was

It’s like a little game where we take a chance

We have lots of fun and share some romance

But sometimes it doesn’t always end up how it’s supposed to

Then you think there is something wrong with you

You blame yourself and want things okay

But it never ends up that way

This might not happen to you but this is me

I then escape to a place and let my thoughts go free

I hide behind my phone and my welcoming music

It’s the place that understands me, its therapeutic

 

Coming back is probably one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made

To be in a negative place and the real you seems to fade

You walk into an abyss of human beings clocked in the image of "the real world"

Where skinny is beautiful and the face of good and evil is swirled

You don’t know who to talk to or even trust

But if you make one bad decision they look at you with disgust

 

The stress that high school brings is so much for a teen

But to be a mom and go to school is a life time of stress and I’m only nineteen

For someone who wants to quit every second of the day

I must say I’m proud of myself for doing it anyway

I get embarrassed sometimes knowing what people think

Giving disapproving looks and I feel I’m at the brink

The point of breaking and giving up giving in

But I don’t have a breaking point I’m not gonna give them the satisfaction.

 

I don’t know what to say no words come to mind

This is what I leave in hope you will find

My final entry but I’m not saying goodbye

This is the beginning this is where I learn to fly

I know where I’ve been and learned a lot from it

I take a leap of faith holding nothing back not a bit

Through embarrassment, resentment, and fitting in

To finding the one and believing from within

Things happen for a reason is what they say

I will find the reason one day

I don’t know where I’m going this isn’t the end

It’s the start of something new and about to begin

So let’s start fresh let’s make mistakes be free

Because you haven’t seen the last of me