Entering….

The back catalog of L*** J******’s memory stores….

Folder: THINGS TOO AFRAID TO SAY ALOUD [last modified 10/19/19]

File: Maybe I shouldn’t look directly at her while I sing this. Oh no, it’s too late. Why isn’t she looking at me? I’ve made her upset.

File: “Can I hold on to you?” Of course you can. I wouldn’t deny you anything. Are you okay?

File: Are you okay?

File: Do you feel the same way I do?

File: “If you love me for my body and not my mind, your love will wither and age with it.”

File: “I can go to the common room if you want.” No, please don’t. This is better than nothing.

File: This bed is too small but I don’t care.

File: I want to kiss you. 

File: “If you love me for my body and not my mind, your love will wither and age with it.”

File: I can’t say that. I’m sure she knows.

File: So kisses on the cheek are okay? She didn’t say anything about them.

File: I should not have watched this the other day. Maybe I would actually be paying more attention.

File: This is only the second time we’re sleeping in the same bed together.

File: This isn’t what friends do.

File: What do you want?

File: I want to kiss you.

File: “If you love me for my body and not my mind, your love will wither and age with it.”

File: “I feel safe.” Oh, thank God.

File: “You’re a safe friend.” Oh, God. Don’t cry into her shoulder, you coward.

File: CRISIS ERROR: CORRUPTION

File: I’m sorry, that’s not fair to you.

File: I’m sorry for being totally self-absorbed.

File: I want to wake up next to you every morning.

File: “We say I love you but we ain’t together.”

File: CRISIS ERROR: CORRUPT- Get off the ground, you idiot.

File: “It’s not polite to have a crisis about someone when they’re in the room.” Yeah, no shit, so stop doing it.

File: “Do you want to talk about it?” ERROR

Yes, I do. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to scare you off more than I’m sure I already have. I don’t have the words to articulate the simultaneous joy and pain this day has caused me.

File: Life isn’t a rom-com. It’s not a cheesy teen movie. It’s not a fanfiction. It is not so easily repaired.

Exiting….

The back catalog of L*** J******’s memory stores….