I am who I was but different…things are changing.

Do you see me? Really see me? I am smiling back to you and you are looking back to me, but you don’t know yet…

You don’t know that I lost the baby face but I smile still when I see pizza.

Or that I am becoming a woman but I still need sometimes my mother’s arms around me.

You haven’t heard my questions yet, when I ask myself: Will I be able to live by my own? Will I be able to find my place in the world? But you are smiling and I am smiling too.

I will tell you later that I have been lucky. That I got my strength from my  family , my work ethics from my IB and my empathy from my dog Troy.

You will see that my mix of races and languages had made me appreciate the world around, its magnitude and its differences.  

 And you will learn that I almost lost my smile when I was diagnosed with a chronic condition.  My body was attacking me; everything was hurting… my arms, my legs, my soul and my dreams. And I could not answer why.

I was forced to make a decision soon enough and I decided to endure the adversity with candor and the big L will not, ever, define who I am. I will deal with it when I need to and I will be me and I will keep smiling back to you.

Things are changing… soon I will be part of a new world called college. It’s scary and exciting!

As scary and exciting that may be,  I recognize  I am making my decisions with the advice from  my past, my ghosts, my heritage, my learned values and my old dreams, and the vow to keep smiling back to you.