Ten Thoughts On Loving a Transgender Boy
Location
Ten Thoughts on Loving a Transgender Boy
One:
His hands are soft.
Softness like that after years of
Dishwashing and viola lessons
Feels like a miracle.
Two:
His smile is crooked
And sincere and nervous
Like a stray kitten that he lets me
Coax closer to the cup of my palms.
His smile is shy,
His smile is shy,
His smile is tentative
And retractable at the slightest sign
Of danger.
Three:
He is always in danger
From all angles and I am terrified
And I am angry
That some people would rather see him
Dead than married
Dead than happy
Dead for who he is
Four:
Who he is is not confusion
Who he is is not a question
Who he is is who he is
And who is he is beautiful
Five:
He is beautiful. He hates when
I say so, but I don’t mean beautiful
As opposed to handsome I mean
Beautiful as in wonderful
Like watching a flower bloom in slow motion
Like listening to the sound of a snare drum
Rolling down a hill and smashing into my heart
Like watching the tiny quivering of a caterpillar
Inside its temporary armor
Every time he pushes back his hair.
Six:
His hair may sometimes be pink.
His anxieties may sometimes be weird, but
His pronouns are he, him, his, and Sir
and
His pronouns are male.
Seven:
He is male.
Eight:
“She” and “it” are words that belong to me
And he deserves more justice than the
Meager little he has
But is too polite to claim.
He is too polite to correct you but I am not
Too polite to correct you
Nine:
I call him Boy.
Ten:
I call him Boy and I will fight
Tooth and nail
To defend a male
Who is treated like a second-class citizen
Ten:
He is not a second class citizen
Ten:
He is not a second- class citizen.
Nine:
I want to protect him.
Eight:
I cannot protect him.
Seven:
I wish I could protect him.
Six:
He doesn’t need anyone to protect him.
Five:
Nobody can protect him.
Four:
People want to harm him.
Three:
Why would someone want to harm him?
Two:
Please, god, don’t let them harm him.
One:
If you cut open a chrysalis before the
Butterfly emerges,
Only liquid comes out.
Beneath that shell the caterpillar has already taken itself apart
And is panicking to put itself together before
Someone takes it apart
Before it presents to you its colors
That will be so beautiful
Please,
God,
Let them see that he is beautiful.
Ten Thoughts on Loving a Transgender Boy
One:
His hands are soft.
Softness like that after years of
Dishwashing and viola lessons
Feels like a miracle.
Two:
His smile is crooked
And sincere and nervous
Like a stray kitten that he lets me
Coax closer to the cup of my palms.
His smile is shy,
His smile is shy,
His smile is tentative
And retractable at the slightest sign
Of danger.
Three:
He is always in danger
From all angles and I am terrified
And I am angry
That some people would rather see him
Dead than married
Dead than happy
Dead for who he is
Four:
Who he is is not confusion
Who he is is not a question
Who he is is who he is
And who is he is beautiful
Five:
He is beautiful. He hates when
I say so, but I don’t mean beautiful
As opposed to handsome I mean
Beautiful as in wonderful
Like watching a flower bloom in slow motion
Like listening to the sound of a snare drum
Rolling down a hill and smashing into my heart
Like watching the tiny quivering of a caterpillar
Inside its temporary armor
Every time he pushes back his hair.
Six:
His hair may sometimes be pink.
His anxieties may sometimes be weird, but
His pronouns are he, him, his, and Sir
and
His pronouns are male.
Seven:
He is male.
Eight:
“She” and “it” are words that belong to me
And he deserves more justice than the
Meager little he has
But is too polite to claim.
He is too polite to correct you but I am not
Too polite to correct you
Nine:
I call him Boy.
Ten:
I call him Boy and I will fight
Tooth and nail
To defend a male
Who is treated like a second-class citizen
Ten:
He is not a second class citizen
Ten:
He is not a second- class citizen.
Nine:
I want to protect him.
Eight:
I cannot protect him.
Seven:
I wish I could protect him.
Six:
He doesn’t need anyone to protect him.
Five:
Nobody can protect him.
Four:
People want to harm him.
Three:
Why would someone want to harm him?
Two:
Please, god, don’t let them harm him.
One:
If you cut open a chrysalis before the
Butterfly emerges,
Only liquid comes out.
Beneath that shell the caterpillar has already taken itself apart
And is panicking to put itself together before
Someone takes it apart
Before it presents to you its colors
That will be so beautiful
Please,
God,
Let them see that he is beautiful.