Stuck in A Lie

You don’t know my name.

Tell me now.

Why are we sharing the same tears?

I stare in your face,

Yet I remain invisible.

There is blood on your wrists.

There is hopelessness in your brown eyes.

There is a bruise forming on your heart.

You scream

They do not hear.

You cry

They do not care.

You plead

They just laugh at you.

They laugh at us.

Still, you don’t know my name.

Someone lied to us both.

A counselor promised life would get better.

A pastor said we all go through storms.

My mother dismisses my pains as a phase.

You’ve heard this all, too.

Is that why we’re sharing the same tears?

Voices whispered to me, “The pain will stop if you die.”

Someone lulled me to sleep saying, “If you kill yourself, then they’ll learn a lesson.”

Yes, I was to be the sacrificial lamb.

I hoped to save generations from what I endured by becoming a martyr.

Killing myself would get rid of the pain.

Killing myself would open the hearts of my tormentors.

I see you believed the same lies.

Far too long I cried.

Nighttime was the worst time.

I was alone with no one to shine light on me.

No one,

Not even the counselors,

Cared.

Encouraging words were futile.

My story had only one chapter.

Loneliness heightened my degradation.

I wanted it to stop!

Stop….

Stop….

Another day, more poison.

What did my tormentors expect me to do?

You could’ve helped me.

You were facing the same problems, too.

Still, I was the one unnoticeable.

Pretty women shouldn’t die;

They have everything to live for.

I had it all.

My mind lashed out at me.

“You’ll never be free.”

“They don’t really love you.”

“They only care about you when you have something to offer.”

I gave in to all I was told.

Dejectedly, it must have been true.

No one came in the nighttime.

No angel gave me a real friend.

No lover promised me a better day.

Convinced I was better off dead,

I was convinced I was better off dead.

As those around me lamented the loss of Robin Williams,

They were blinded to me.

How does it happen that way?

My story is all too familiar.

Could it be, that’s why we’re sharing the same tears?

I held on, believing

Joy comes in the morning.

Then the sun was stolen from the sky.

Night reflected my black despair.

Theme: forever alone.

Story Title: No One Cares.

If I died, they’d miss me.

If I killed myself then they’d care.

If,

If,

If,

If anyone can outgrow hopelessness tell me how.

I cried for too long.

Suicide seemed to be the action of the strong.

Then a voice cried,

“Wait! Wait!”

I opened my eyes and there they were.

All of them,

Love,

Friendship,

Peace,

Happiness,

Loyalty,

Acceptance

All running towards me.

They begged me to hold them.

 “Where were you?”

I screamed, tears falling from my eyes.

“Right here.”

“We’ve never left you.”

“We were always here. You just couldn’t see us.”

I took them in and night became day.

I saw what had been in front of me all along.

I saw my hopes, my dreams filling up and overflowing like a waterfall.

Then there was you

The person with the bloodied wrists.

Even you,

Yes even you,

You saw me.

You smiled at me.

You waved with your cut wrists

As the blood dropped to the ground.

“They were always there and there’ll always be with you.”

It was true.

I stopped believing in the lies.

I opened my eyes.

No more sharing of the same tears.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world

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