I would do anything for you. I loved you...as much as my stupid hormonal 15 year old brain could. All I ever wanted from you was for you to care and at least tell me that you love me. We dated for 8 months and were best friends for 4 months before that. You seemed to understood me. You seemed to be the only one who wanted me to keep breathing and I needed that. I was and am willing to do anything for you. All I wanted was for you to stay. You told me what you wanted and I would do whatever it was. I stood and never fought back through all the times you would tear me down. I never left even when you were hurting me more then I would hurt myself.

One day you gave me an ultimatum: eat (or at least hide that I wasn’t), stop the self mutilation, and don’t talk about my problems or your would leave. I needed you so I started eating and then purging and running. I hid the scars from you, and instead of hurting myself you suggested that you hurt my instead, although you seemed to like this idea more then you should have, I allowed it. You would dig your nails into my back, making me bleed and hurt for days. When we were in private you would hit me and cut me. I would cry, but never in front of you.

You would control me. I would have to send you pictures of my outfit because you needed to see what I was wearing to school to make sure that it was appropriate. What hurt the most was honestly when I would tell you I wasn’t doing well and that I needed you and you would say that it didn’t matter or it wasn't important, one day you actually told me that maybe I just should go ahead and stop trying to survive. It wasn't the first time I had heard it from you, and it wouldn't be the last, I thought I did something wrong. I begged you to tell me what I did. You wanted my body, I gave it to you. You wanted my attention, I gave it to you. You wanted a skinny, perfect girl and I tried to give it to you.

When you cheated on my I said I didn't like it and you yelled at me. Everything I seemed to do you didn't seem to like it. We are now in school and about a week ago you started cutting me off. I started defying you. I stoped sending you revealing photos whenever you wanted them. I started being okay. I was eating. I was happy. I was talking about more than just what you would want to do to me when we were alone. You told me to stop talking to you for a couple days. I gave you four days. You talked to me and I wouldn’t send you that picture. You left. I need you. I feel like I need you. I have no one. You were all I have and you knew that. No one talks to me outside of school and in school only 2 girls and the teachers talk to me. The girls both have lives and don’t talk to me outside of school. I was told to kill myself in class last week and told a teacher. It didn’t stop. It will never stop and maybe just maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if i just listened to them and did what they wanted.