Starting college has been

pretty fucking hard

if I'm going to be honest with you.

 

Going from straight A's

to struggling for C's

when I've never had to study before this

takes a lot out of me.

 

Even more so when good grades is how I define myself.

 

Being alone in my room because my suitemates 

are silent and look at me like I made the wrong turn

and ended up in a stragers room

takes a lot out of me.

 

Even more so when my friends are too busy to see me, let alone rescue me. 

 

Having my heart ripped from my chest so thorowly

I don't know when the bleeding will stop

or if I would want this pain to end because then it means it is really over

takes a lot out of me.

 

Even more so when it's my boyfriend- now ex- of two years that did this to me.

 

Every time I start to pull myrself together again,

wobbling on my legs like a newborn calf,

only to be knocked back down

takes a lot out of me.

 

But I get up again.

 

Because I are strong.