Soul War III: Mind vs Body

Eighteen winters and I'm tired --exhausted.

Tired of my mind holding me hostage, 

Tired of the cliquelessness causing me restlessness--


I haven't known my bed in days.

I lay in it but it won't hold me, 

My conscious dreams strangle me while I inaudibly scream


Who will I be?


My fingertips blush, they ache, they itch

My feet swell, skin blanched, my lips--

Tremble --why me? 

For once will you be easy?


Last night I dreamt of cigarettes--

I know they'll kill me but the nicotine

Seems so pleasing --what does this mean?


Am I mean? Why am I unhappy?

Why can't I do what I'm told and fill this void

With the Light, the Messiah --I believe! I believe?

Why don't I think normally?


Eighteen months of winter --I'm so tired

I'm fired --up! Exasperation is where this comes from!

I must sleep --I must I must.

But I won't let me-- 





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