someone yours
The biggest lie I ever told
Was not so much a destruction of truth
But a curtain
Thrown up hastily to hide
The elephant
Because when you said
You’ve never been loved
I shrugged and I said
Someday, someone
But the day has already passed
And the one has already walked
Out of that door
Because to love as I do
Is to lose a shred of my heart every time
And after a while, I grew tired
Of being grated til I was raw
Things wouldn’t have worked out
If you weren’t going to soothe my skin
So after a season of fantasy and dreams,
I cut myself down so you wouldn’t have the chance.
I grew back without you this time;
I grew back with him
And it was too late that I realized
That he was the same, he was worse
He built my dreams and burned them down
Faster than I could tell you I was sorry
And it hurt more, I think
Because as he learned me
He began to look around
But you - you learned me and stayed
To hear it all
And you gave me ideas and a rope to cling to when the
Mountains got too steep
You know me now
The worst parts;
The fears that I whisper into the walls of my shower
And the sadness that slows my blood
You are the first I run to
When it all comes flooding back
Because your raft has holes but
It still floats and
Sometimes all I need is to keep my head above water.
I don’t love you anymore,
Not like I did someday,
But there’s something in my breath reserved for you
That I haven’t shared with anyone in a long time
“You are worth being liked,” I said,
Instead of, “I loved you once.”