Hands shaking, palms sweaty

You just said, “It’s over”, but I’m not ready

The people and noises seem to disappear

And suddenly I can’t see so clear

I blink a few times and try to grasp

The feeling that I knew this would never last

These feelings were some of my greatest fears

Both love and heartache, I had guarded myself from for 17 years

Who wants to be in love? Not I.

Who wants to sleep on a tear-soaked pillow? Not I.

Who wants to hand someone their heart only to have to broken in 10 months? Not I.

10 months ago, I was naive

I believed the best and saw what I wanted to see

Caution signs were ignored

So now you’re the one I cry for

“I still love you”

Is that even still true?

But I say it back out of habit

It will take a long time to break this addict

I feel a chill wrapped in your arms

Is this true affection, or just another one of your charms?

Either way I’ll savor this embrace

And walk away quickly in order to save face

A dark hallway becomes my escape

And I feel my heart begin to change and shape

Now bitter it begins to say

“Why would you let someone treat you that way?”

“Will it ever really be okay?”

The darkness engulfs my quiet sobs

Alone

Detached

I feel truly robbed

Robbed of the last few years of childhood I had left

Robbed of the future I thought lay ahead

“Will it ever really be okay?”

I wish I could take myself back to that day

And tell myself that it all will be

Someday