Some poeple are preoccupied

By thoughts of racial 

Discrimination, 

By thoughts of sexual

Harassment,

By thoughts of 

Where their next meal will come from.

 

I deal with such things.

I dabble in such matters.

But what matters to me is reaching my perfection. 

Of not failing myself.

 

Sometimes I feel so shallow.

I've been called Regina George.

Stuffed myself in a mold.

Ridiculed and degraded

By none other than me. 

 

But I want my perfection.

I want that perfect self.

To echo the reflection

That others must see

When they look in the mirror and say

Yes, this is who I want to be.

 

I see through my skin.

I see a person who doesn't try hard enough.

I want to try harder than enough 

To be someone who's stronger than enough

To get through the day even though it seems longer

Than

Too much.

 

I want my own perfection. 

I want to erase every flaw.

I want to wipe out the insufficiences.

And that is one flaw in itself but I am 

Determined

To reach perfection.

Failure is not an option.

 

I want to achieve my dreams and win 

My own approval.

Daddy and mommy didn't 

Not pat me on the back enough.

They didn't hit me on the head too much.

I wasn't deprived of recognition. 

Rather, perhaps approval was my problem.

Always told I was good.

Always told I did well.

Always told I was "talented".

But I want to see it for myself.

 

Some people are preoccupied with shells

Bursting like balloons at a childrens' birthday party

Outside their windows.

 

I'm preoccupied with self. 

That is what matters to me.

Because the healer can't heal until she's well.

How will I blow the eyelash from your eye

When there's a log in my own?

 

Some people are preoccupied with 

"More important things."

Well

I'm not.