It's complex and growing, alive
A breathing thing
That was suffocated for many years
Cut with words
Lacerations deep from childhood wounds
But growing: through days together, drives for errands
Talks of his life, mine occasionally
Gentle words and hearing ears and reading between
Acts of service Acts of thoughtfulness Acts of action
Mean the most
Times with TV--grates my spirit-- crucial to his?
All things machine.
Lots of talk of them. and stories
Over and over and over
My ears straining to hear their importance and why he tells them so frequently
What do they really say once the words become the same?
What do the words say when repeated for years at the same occasions and with the same
It's his heart!
And as we've grown and I've grown
And softness known
Heart shows through
Through those stories memories victories
Proudly displayed in the same warrior dominant tone that shows me his outward striving [to be Everything Man]
And his inward little boy [still clinging to the b.b. gun in the yard, dressed in camo] craving the attention of anyone around him
Of just one person
To see him and tell him that
He doesn't have to fight for them; he just has to be.
And that's more
Even soldiers come home after the war.
When will you come home, Dad?
I miss you.