soft

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Kurt Vonnegut said,

“be soft. do not let the world make you hard…”

and I believed him.

I was soft,

so soft and so sweet,

so forgiving.

 

I was soft,

soft enough for people to rest their heads on me.

soft enough to walk on with your barefeet.

I was soft, enough to be somebody’s security blanket.

 

and I was sweet,

like candy,

a comfort food,

the thing you come to when you’re upset

because sweet is what you need after

salt in a wound.

 

and I forgave.

I forgave everyone.

every time someone made me cry,

made me feel worthless,

left me alone,

I forgave.

 

I kept myself soft.

 

but you can’t go through life

and come out soft.

you can't be hit and have it not hurt

just because you’re soft.

 

how could I stay soft when I was all alone?

how could I stay sweet when all I was

was a tool to make others feel better?

how could I forgive when it just keeps happening again?

 

staying soft doesn’t protect you.

people will still hurt you,

they will still use you like bandaids

and throw you out when they’re done.

you will still feel lonely at 3 am when there is no one to talk to.

 

the world is not suddenly brighter when you stay soft

people are not nicer.

you will not get rewarded for your softness.

 

don't be stone,

but do not stay soft.

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