Social anxiety

Pulling aside the dark curtain, sunlight falls in

Like a spilled bottle, the light runs over me

Shrinking away from the light till my eyes adjust

Peering outside I see a rubber ball bounce along the sidewalk while little boys chase after it

A group of teens, sitting in a driveway, laughing and talking

My tired fingers fumble as the wrap the blanket closely around my shoulders 

The sun should warm me but I only feel cold

Crawling back into bed, I bury myself under several blankets 

Feeling as if I could sink in to bed and not come out for a million years, I close my eyes

The door bell sounds, but I make no move to answer it

My stomach lurches, and my eyes go wide as the bell rings for a second time

Pulling my blankets over my head, I go into a fetal position hiding from the world

I dread the images that bombard my mind,

Senerios that I know not to be true but still cause me to cower and hide 

I focus on breathing, it's the best I can do

Barely functioning is still functioning, and it's all I can do 

Like a virus it will consume you, until there is no distinction between it and you

I am social anxiety and it is me


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