#nofilterslam

Youngest of seven, thought I was painted. I am the only one of my siblings with brown colored skin, making me quite literally the black sheep-- am I tainted?

By some siblngs I was told I was adopted, unwanted, and pitied. By my parents and other adults I was told I was pretty.

I grew up in white neighborhoods, I rarely saw anyone with the same color skin as me. A family member said she hated black people, "but no offense" little brown Brittany.

Just me and my dad, brown in this white world. Until he died when I was thirteen, then my world started to unfurl.

My sister died two months prior to my pops, making my heart feel full of pop rocks.

Crackle, fizzle, pop! My chest pounds as these sounds rip apart what used to be my heart.

Cancers is a villian, drunk driving a beast, each one a cause for my family that now are deceased.

One of my brothers, three years later, gave up the strive and committed suicide, throwing the rest of us once again in the high tide attempting to survive.

 

You take away my "stuff" and you'll be left with my heart. It was broken, crushed, and knotted, yet, Jesus saved it by an art.

The art of being divine and at the same time deeply loving humankind. A kind of art none can replicate-- can you take nails, whips, thorns, and spear and then stand in three days?

My mind goes into a haze when I try to comprehend the ways that Christ redeemed me from my days of being depressed, insecure, and fazed.

I am no longer marked by those fears that used to grip me-- am I loveable? Who is next to die? Am I pretty?

I am full of joy unspeakable since my King has made me whole.

I gave Him my depression and He gave me delectation,

Surety instead of insecurity, and caused me to overflow with praise as He removed all my fazes by ushering me into all His graces.

 

Now, I am privileged to dance my heart out for my Lord, knowing that in all I do I am adored.

Now, I am privileged to laugh often, love fully, and live freely, due to this grace that abounds within me.

Now, I am privileged because my cries are no longer consumed by grief. My groanings and whys encounter the One who casts out all lies while wiping away my tear stained eyes, granting me relief.

Now, I am privileged to encourage girls who are bound by the fears that used to haunt me all my years; to break the chains, there is a way to walk in the light of a brighter day.

His name is grace and peace, He offers sweet release to those who walk in muck, toil, and feel like they are drowning in grease.

 

I do not put filters on my photos. What you see is what you get, I have no need to bluff. But a picture is only skin deep and we can communicate what we want.

The most deceptive things are what the eyes can be seeing. A picture can say, "I'm happy!" while the person sits behind the pixel bleeding.

We need to take heed on what we choose to believe.

This screen is paper thin, yet behind it a whole hell of sin that will consume us if we do not filter what we allow into the parts of our hearts that are worlds apart from where the truth ends and the lies start.

There is so much more to life than just the skin, a richer person the deeper you go in.

 

#NoFilter Scholarship Slam