Oh man, Earl, is that you?

Thought you were long gone and that we were through.

Oh wait, my mistake, you had a few

Qualities that reminded me of a dude I once knew

You see, this man Earl was big into money

Would buy things and hold it over the girl’s head

Would toy with her emotions but still call her honey

It didn’t take long for this girl’s mind to turn dead

After five years the girl finally realized what was happening

Saw it was wrong and un-zombified herself.

Stood up and stood strong and started snapping

Until she was no longer his Barbie on a shelf.

“Why are you telling me this?” I’m sure you’re asking yourself.

Well you may not be the identical but it’s quite plain

That you’re doing the same thing

And believe me I will swing

If you keep treating her anything less than a winged

Goddess.

Got it?