Silently

Wed, 01/27/2016 - 08:35 -- Aegis

Dreams laugh and smile until I'm blue
From lack of sleep and touch
They sing and ask me to stay true-
As if I wasn't such!
But true to dreams and true to me
Are two different paths indeed 
Even if the dream's a cup of tea
I can't forget my lawful creed
"To abstain until I'm back
This I'll do and do with pride"
I've forgotten just how much I lack
When trying to match that stride
So here I am a fool and sin
In a year I meant for good
Caught under a sharp grey pin
Without a cloaking hood
I'm a fake without a call
Not a rise but quite the fall
And pain still hits me when it's tall
Loud and clear I hear it all
What if I'm not good enough
To live the life I crave
Avoiding sin and evil stuff
Until I reach my grave
What if I'm not good enough
To make the choice of white
Instead I'll try a hopeless bluff
And dim my only light.....
What if I'm not good enough
To teach my dream the truth
The life I live is not just a cuff
Or an inner ploy of youth...
Instead I'm actually childish
Immature and unprepared
For when I got my wish
I silently stood and stared......
silently.... 

A wish to scream was granted me
Yet screaming there was none
A wish to prove myself to you
But I stopped 'fore I was done
The words which often plagued me
In my simple form of art
Were locked deep underneath a key
And refused then to depart
So sitting there in silence 
Was all that I could do
So sitting there in silence
Made me realize I don't get you....

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