I can't live without the addiction

the pain

the fear

the instability

that surrounds all that you are.

I crave the anger

that pools black

and heavy in my veins

the same way that the alcohol

rushes through yours.

I lust for the disfunction

the chaos

the hurt 

that you bring.

I yearn for the bruises

the scars

the blood that

you spill

that somehow leave

my hands

stained crimson.

I am the abuser

the monster who can't forgive

the shell that you are

because I can't live without

the agony

the misery

the disgust

that you create.

Because without it

 

I'm just a shell too.