Seeing Stars
Location
The rain coated asphalt
Black and sparkling
I fell to the rock bottom
We use for parking.
Suddenly I'm
Hyperventilating
No thoughts of vindicating
Nothing was indicating
That he would do this prior
Didn't seem like when he called me a Whore
Or a Bitch, or a Slut,
That it was dire.
just words.
Acidic and critic-
al.
Spoken by a manchild who was cynic-
al.
Apparently I screamed,
Bloodcurdling.
I bet he stifled that to a harsh
Gurgling.
When he clasped his hands around my throat,
.......
nothing.
I remember nothing.
Except what happened prior.
His enormous voice
Echoing
This time dire.
And the rain coated asphalt black and sparkling
Swiftly greeting my face.
It left a marking
One at first that was acrimonious
Over time just a warning.
A reminder,
To stay away from the felonious.
It's a day I'll never forget,
But it's content mostly forgotten.
One i'll never regret
Something that can't be taught in
school.
Comments
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RebeccaYSPerez
I've come to realize in poetry we often romanticize everything. Everything sounds so beautiful and languid but when you dissect it, it actually is very sad... I loved your piece, from beinning of the stars trying to shine through the black darkness. Remember to always be that star.
What made you chose that as the opening?
Becca.
downtothecore
The title makes it seem like it would be a story of beauty but it sounded more like a horror film, goose bumps all the way
zebramongoose
I chose it as an opening, because it's the moment that stands out to me from that memory. It's a play on what happens in cartoons. When they get hit, they see stars. and thank you for you guys' input :)
swingerif
This was really captivating
CBat
I loved your verbage. As I read it, it was almost rapping in my head. Strife and resilience..loved it.
annapinault
I totally agree. This poem is great on paper, and it would be great as spoken word.
Peter Rico
I feel this one. You need to do this live!!
EmAngster00
Wow...this was truly mind-blowing. I like how the title reflects in a subdued way the content of this poem. Your words....your rythm...your imagery...they were all perfect!
mitch_medina
It was intersting to read nice job!
seekingsmiles
I recently just joined this website, trying to get a feel for the other poets out there. You captivated me from the very beginning, what a beautiful poem this is. You definitely know how to write, xx