How long will I be

second pick, best-friend-of-the-right-one girl?

How often must I meet somebody good

only to be asked for advice on the best way to ask my friend out

I don’t mind

she’s beautiful and smart and outgoing and everything im not

but ill never stop wishing

i could be first pick, front-line, head-turning girl

it feels sick to hope that she’ll turn them down, so maybe i can be the next best thing to them

I know its not right

and I don’t need somebody to make me whole

but it would be nice

to have somebody to be whole with

 

i envy my best friends outgoing nature

she is bold and courageous and everything im not

and at times i wish i had that spark

but i dont want to have to change my personality to make people like me

is it wrong to want to meet one person who will want to hold my hand instead

Who will tell me im smart, im cute

without ever having wanted her first

 

i do not resent my friend

i do not resent the boys

it is neither of their faults that they didn’t fall for me

maybe i should try harder

but sometimes i see the way people look at her

and i wish i could be

somebodys first-pick, never second best, head-turning, butterfly-inducing, star-striking girl